Friday, January 20, 2012

Book Review: Why Him Why Her - Finding Real Love by Understanding Your Personality Type

Ok, after reading such a 'manly' book called The Game, I have to wonder why I'm even reading this one. Just look at the cover: so pinkish and girrrly.

It turns out to be a book well read afterall. And it takes a real MAN ok, to read this book in the crowded MRT, especially for a Sachok Mat like MYSELF.

Ego-bearing aside, the main bulk of the book elaborates on the different personality types - Explorer, Builder, Director or Negotiator, all determined by our biological configurations. It aims to uncover which types of personality types complement/averse one another.

Truth be told, after completing her set of personality test, I was only interested in the whole chapters that described me best - the Negotiator. It was scary to say the least; so acute and accurate was the description that I felt Dr Helen Fisher is staring right into my soul. But of course, I was exaggerating (like I always do); Dr Helen Fisher has got better things to do than to stare at a measly Sachok Mat like MYSELF.

I found the free website that let you have a tryout of the test HERE. You have to give it a try and experience the surreal moment when Dr Helen Fisher is fishing down your soul like I had. And it won't differ much than the David Keirsey Test (derived from Meyers Briggs Test) that I've laid out HERE. You just have to try both, man!

And if not for the preview section at the beginning of the book, I wouldn't give a sh!t about the other personality types.

In short, if your brain has an overloaded gush of dopamine, then you're an Explorer - highly energetic, creative,willing to take risks, optimistic, and curious.

Serotonin and you're a Builder - calm, cautious but not fearful, loyal, traditional.

Being a Director means you're overwhelmed by the level of Testosterone - direct, analytical, logical, independent, emotionally contained and good at strategic thinking.

Lastly a Negotiator predominantly has a higher level of Estrogen - imaginative, good verbal skills, good at executive social skills, sympathetic, and emotionally expressive.

I especially like her use of words and phrases in the test to lure people to emphasize their personality type, one they chose to describe themselves.

For example, words that's associative to

1) Explorers: Adventure, energy, fun, active, outgoing

2) Builders: Family, honesty, caring,trust, loving

3) Directors: Intelligence, intellectual, debate, geek/nerdy, politics

4) Negotiators: Passion, heart, kindness, sensitive, sweet, empathy

This book is just about discovering yourself and know who to chose for in a partner. Of course, there is one or two dominant set of traits that is present; you won't necessarily be a Builder through and through. Or, you could be a mixture of rojak of all four. And besides, personality changes over time as well.

If nothing else, the rest of the book match-make you to which type of personality traits that suit you best and which you should avoid, something that I don't necessarily agree with. Besides, it doesn't take into account looks, status, abilities, etc.

But hey, that's what the book is generally about anyway; 40 000 men and women, singles and 'doubles', won't be guinea-pigged for no reason. And Dr Helen Fisher won't be sharing her findings after decades of arduous research on a mediocre book just so we can contradict one another.

She's the real deal, man. Personally, I look up to her. And while you're at it, go Google her up!


To see the overview of the Science and theories of Personality traits, see HERE.

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